Hello everybody, this is Kris Valdespino here.
To all the new fans from Zelda CD-i Reanimated, Spares Reanimatedd, and Hammer and Fail Rebuilt, welcome! I'm glad you came by and stuck around thanks to my participation in the only noteworthy things I've done outside my personal crap. Let's get this out of the way.
Where have you been?
I've been mentally ill. It has always been hard to focus with ADHD, but it's become harder after starting high school back in 2021, fresh out of the COVID-19 outburst of 2020. I've been constantly depressed, getting mood swings and sudden outbursts, and have gotten myself into an unhealthy coping mechanism for years, which I'll not disclose. Not helping that my family (which at this point is just my mom and sister) has barely been scraping by, moving into a new house in the same boring city every 1-2 years while spending most of their money on rent and bills and shit, and little on food, necessities, or anything that makes life worth living. My family lives in the hellhole that is Florida, after all, but I seriously cannot wait any longer to finally move on from school and Florida.
Have you been working on any projects?
I'm trying! Seriously, I am, but it's been so hard trying to focus on my stuff. High school has been taking up most of my time that I could be spending on making art or animation for the internet, and I've been playing serious ketchup with my schoolwork since I've been growing so damn tired of attending school in general. It's all about getting to school awake and on time, getting my grades steady, and getting all my credits needed for graduation, all the while carrying the massive burden of being mentally ill. As a result, I spend most of my free time trying to relax, switch off my mind, and watch YouTube or play Minecraft, and I end up having little time to work on anything, for school or myself. That was why I had a difficult time when I worked on other people's projects like Panzoid Shorts or CRiTORA, and why I posted artwork sparingly and never announced any videos or projects. I could not deliver my promise if I could not deliver at all.
Now for some quick questions I bet y'all are dying to ask.
What happened to all the old blog posts from 2019-2020?
I didn't see any point in keeping them up. They were either announcements of videos I have since scrapped or updates on minor things that are now irreverent. If you want to see all the old blog posts, click here. Trust me though, you're not missing out on much.
What happened to [insert project here]?
Either I'm working very slowly and ineffectively on it, have no interest in working on it at the moment, or have scrapped it entirely, which includes the videos I had tried making from 2019-2020. "e3 was kinda weird" from January 2019 is completely scrapped, "Welcome to Chili's" from mid-2019 has been shelved as well, and "Poor Hamster" from late-2019 has shuttered production due to my dissatisfaction with the terrible writing. Oh, and "Mission Kinda Illegal" too, which was being worked on throughout 2020 before giving up, as I didn't figure out a story I was happy with.
Don't worry, though. One of the projects will be revived as a future video... when I have the time and mental energy, of course.
Why were/are you working on [insert someone's series here] instead of your stuff?
Because it was easier and I was bored and had nothing better to do. My tenures with some of the series could be blog posts on their own, but for now, that's just why I was involved.
Will you be on any more reanimated collaborations?
No.
What happened to some of your social media platforms?
In my last blog post from... 3 years ago (October 18. 2020), I announced that I was gonna delete both my Instagram and Soundcloud on October 19, 2020, which I did. Partially. While I did delete my Soundcloud (I've only posted bad singing of theme songs and audio archives of old stuff), I only disabled my account for a short while before returning in mid-2021. I currently have no plans to leave Instagram, and I need to try using it more.
On July 4, 2023, I deleted my Twitter (@siahri_) and DeviantArt (siahri) accounts. I had practically no reason to upkeep them anymore, as I'd been inactive in the final years I had them and didn't have as much social interest as I had before. Also, I no longer had as much time to type down stupid tweets or draw an art piece only a few dozen would like. Not to mention, they've gathered pretty bad reputations over the years that I don't feel like mentioning. Nonetheless, I deactivated them and kept archives of the necessaries.
Since deleting Twitter, I needed a new place to post my thoughts and whatnot, so I followed what my mutuals were doing and made a Tumblr shortly before deleting my Twitter (@siarhi). I made two Tumblr accounts beforehand in 2019 and 2020, but they were quickly deleted as I never understood the platform... and I still don't. I don't know what I'm doing on Tumblr. I haven't got any traction from it either, so I may consider abandoning Tumblr altogether...
What are you planning on doing in the future?
Fuck, I don't know. I keep telling myself every year after 2020 that "this year is gonna be the year I return to the internet and reign supreme" before providing barely anything throughout each year. Right now, my goals are to finally get a summer job, get school over with (which continues to get progressively harder), and figure out how to stop being a moody wreck. I cannot promise anything new in terms of art or animation, but I know I need to try harder, believe in myself, and just draw... something, I guess. Now that I have a desktop and graphics tablet to draw instead of a crappy laptop with a shotty touchpad, it should be easier to make new things. To bring interest to myself and my creations, rather than hanging on to my old videos that my prepubescent self made 3-5 years ago. So I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try hoping for the best. I'm gonna see what I can do for the better.
If you guys have any important questions, please tell me in the comments or messages, and I'll try to answer them the best I can.
